Mother: When thinking about having body positivity, I think of people like me, someone with weight issues. From reading I know that everyone has issues with their body. We all have that one area that we wish was bigger, smaller, firmer, just “better”. Of course we do determine what is better in our own minds.
But someone that is really small, in my opinion small, I never think that they look at their body pretty much the same way I look at mine. We have a wedding to go to in a couple of weeks so I have been shopping. While looking for a pair of shoes I passed a lady trying on an off the shoulder top. She was with a friend and I would guess they were mid to late 40’s. Neither one had a weight issue, in my opinion. But the one trying on the top made the comment ” I would never wear this, it makes me look fat”.
Do any of us see ourselves how we really are? I know I will think I look great, until I see myself in a mirror or pictures. Have you ever walked by a mirror and thought “who in the H is that”. And a picture can put me in a tizzy for days. And from a comment I read the other day, I am not alone in this thinking.
A lady posted a picture of herself online last week from a wedding she had attended. She was in a LBD and looked fabulous. But the caption read “I lost from a size 14 down to a 10 and I still look like a cow”. I can so relate, I never lose to where I think I look ok, not good, just ok in my own eyes.
More food for thought came when I read https://themotheroctopus.com/2017/08/14/a-dress-i-have-no-business-wearing/. This blog post has been read and shared thousands of times. Why can’t we just let ourselves wear the things we like?
It has been years since I have tried something on, shoes included, that I did not critique every little thing about what I am trying. Shoes are thrown in there because I have fat ankles and if the top of the shoe or the straps don’t hit just right my legs look like poles, straight up from ankle to knee.
We all want to look good. But when did looking good come to mean we have to tear ourselves apart? And it gets no better with age. Were we less critical of ourselves when we were younger?
I want to be grateful that I have legs that work, arms that can hug the ones I love, a face that has lines because I have lived a life that was sometimes hard, but I have also smiled and laughed a lot. Yes I have hips and a belly, but who says these are negatives, other than me?
I am a work in progress. Every day without a negative thought about my body is a step in the right direction. That self talk can make or break us. It has been said hundreds of times, we say things to ourselves that we would never say to a friend.
Life is too short to waste it on feeling bad about our bodies. We are much more than what our body parts may say. I want to look at my body and be grateful for all of the wonderful things my body has done and will continue to do for me.
Till next time.
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