Mother: I read a blog posting the other day and thank you Facebook but now I am not sure who posted it, but the post was on being enough. When do we ever think that we are enough, have done enough, said enough, felt enough in any aspect of our lives? I look at things somewhat differently now that I am fast approaching the wonderful age of 67. In my younger days for some reason I thought most of my life would be over at 50. Not over, over as in having died and gone to heaven, but in the I just don’t give a crap because I am 50 and I have lived my life and things are pretty much over. Boy o boy when you hit 50 you find out that isn’t how you feel at all.
The things that I thought I should be good enough at have changed. For one thing I thought when I reached 50 I would never worry again about my weight, wrong. Back then I wanted to be slim, firm, attractive, keep my husband interested and faithful, and later after he fell by the wayside, enough to attract someone new. Now I want a strong heart, a good memory, strength and balance enough not to break a hip. So I need a healthy weight. I wanted to change the world with my words, my thoughts, my actions. Now I want my grandchildren to do these things. I wanted to be the kind of person who had the same friends from kindergarten to the grave, but some friends aren’t meant to be with you for that long, not sure if this means one or both of us just wasn’t enough. Or was it we were friends for a reason or a season, and it had nothing to do with being enough? And parenting, how many of us feel in some ways we screwed our kids up? We second guess decisions we made every time our kids do or say something that we feel isn’t quite right, or at least it isn’t the way we thought we were teaching them to do or say things. The truth is no one makes a decision to see how much they can mess their kids up. Most of us are doing the best we can with what we have.
What exactly does being enough mean anyhow? And who decides that enough is enough? As the posting I read said, what if everything I am and do is enough? I know I live my life in the best way I know how. I trust in God to know my heart and though there are occasions when my tongue gets the better of me, I try hard to not be mean spirited. I love the Lord. I love my husband and plan on spending all the rest of my days with him. I love my children and grandchildren with my whole being. On most days I give my all to the friends I have though there are days that being their friend is hard.
What we need to remember is no one sits in judgement of us more than we do ourselves. And when that little devil perches on our shoulder and whispers in our ear, just flick him off and step on him. We are enough, even with all of our human frailties. The bottom line is, we are all really trying to do and be the best we can and we need to cut each other some slack. And most importantly cut ourselves some slack.
Do you ever feel that you aren’t enough?
Till next time.
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