Mother: Are my friends here for a reason, a season or a lifetime? Friendships that are formed because of a reason or a season primarily. I know there are folks that formed bonds back in grade school and they are still friends today. For some reason, those aren’t the bonds of friendship that I formed. It seems most of my friends came for a reason or a season.
When I was young in grade school and maybe into junior high school, my friends were the people I went to school with and/or the kids in our neighborhood. Like clings to like and there was never really any thought given, at least there wasn’t in my case, to step outside of my comfort zone. The same was true in high school also, I was raised in a small city, and the people I started school with were the same ones I finished high school with. I got married young and started a family. Most of the friends I started school with did the same thing I did but there were a few that went on to college and put marriage and family on the back burner.
Marriage, first baby. Unless the friends you made in your early years are going through the things you are you probably don’t stay close to them. It is hard to have a friend that is off in college, partying on the weekends while you are home caring for a house, a husband and a baby. Young mothers cling to other young mothers to share experiences. In my case, the wives of my husbands’ friends made up my circle of friends. For twenty-five years this was the life I lived and the friends I had.
But life changes. You go through a divorce and gravitate to people in a similar circumstance. I was single and all of my friends were also. I tried staying in touch with friends from my former life but schedules were hard to correlate, plus life experiences were so different. I look back on my life and it surprises me the people who have come and gone, and the ones that have stayed, there are very few that have stayed. I have remarried and most of my single friends have married or partnered up. The sad thing is though, I had children and my friends didn’t. I now have grandchildren and they don’t. I have family and for whatever reason, my friends were only children who married only children. I have sisters and a brother plus dozens of step/half siblings.
It bothers me sometimes when I look at the friends that are no longer in my life. And it worries me that the friends I have had for the last twenty-five years could also become a thing of the past. Like clings to like. Yes, we are all retired but it kind of stops there. Most of my time is spent with children, grandchildren or sisters. With nine grandchildren, two great-grandsons, and five children between my husband and I there is always a birthday, a graduation, a wedding or family get together happening.
Now that husband and I are going through his cancer process though things could change. My friends have stepped up with emails and cards which though they make us cry are very welcome. Social activities are out right now because of discomfort on husbands part but hopefully, treatment will change that.
I guess as time passes I will figure out if my friends are here for a reason, a season or the rest of my lifetime.
Until next time.