Woulda Shoulda Coulda

Mother: Do you ever look back and think about your different woulda, shoulda, coulda’s?  I got to thinking about this because of a question one of my granddaughters ask.  She graduated this spring with a bachelor degree in psychology, but has always planned on going to medical school.  She has been looking for a job for the summer, but planned on going back to school in the fall.  While applying for jobs she found an ad for a position that requires a bachelors in psychology and is unsure if she should pursue the position.  Her concern is if she goes into the “adult” working world and likes it, what if she gets comfortable and gives up on going on to medical school.

I understand where she is coming from.  When I was younger I had more of those kinds of thoughts.  The world was so big and I kept changing my mind as to where I wanted to fit into it. From Nancy Drew super sleuth to corporate attorney, from Mother Teresa to Barbara Walters and everything in between I wanted to do big things.  Would I have been tough enough to be in the corporate world and fight legal battles?  Could I have given up my hair dryer and make up to go to Calcutta?  I know I could be nosy enough to be a private investigator but could I have been tenacious enough to set for hours in a dark car with no where to pee?  lol

There are big woulda, shoulda, coulda’s in life and there are the small ones that could add up to something big.  We all have them.  But as we age we get better at making life decisions. We want to live with purpose and joy.  The birthdays come faster and wasted days and weeks turn into months and years. You realize nothing lasts forever be it good or bad.  Something that was a coulda in your twenties becomes an I did it in later years.  You want to live a fuller life as you age.  You don’t want to have regrets.

I have to say I have very few woulda, shoulda coulda’s.  I have done a lot in my 66 years and have to say I have done most of what I wanted to do.  There are a couple of relationships that I shoulda gotten out of sooner.  And I coulda gone on with my education, but the one I choose served me well.  Over all I have no real regrets and this quote says it perfectly “Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand,wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO HOO what a ride!”

How about you?  Do you live with some regrets or do you have a life lived well?

Till next time.

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  1. Your post got me thinking. At the moment, I can think of two: I would have like to have gone to art school, and I would have liked to have gone helicopter skiing in the backcountry. However, I’m only 60. Maybe it’s not too late!


    • Adaughter

      My thought is that every day on this side of the grass is a good day so that means it is not too late. You can still do those things. Good luck.

  2. I like to think that all of the decisions I made–big and small, good and bad–led me to the lovely place I am right now, so how can I regret them? There are some life lessons I wish I had learned a little sooner–like living in the moment, accepting myself (warts and all), not sweating the small stuff–but all in all, I am content with my life. Of course, I want to keep learning and growing and experiencing. I love your quote and would like to add another: “No regrets…just lessons. No worries…just acceptance. No expectations…just gratitude. Life is too short.”

    Thanks for linking up at #BloggingGrandmothersLinkParty.


    • Adaughter

      I like your quotes very much. Thank you for commenting. I so agree the end total of being us is a combination of everything we have experienced.

  3. Looking back, we think that a different choice would have led to a better life, fame & fortune, the perfect relationship. But, we really don’t know — it’s kind of a ‘the-grass-is-always-greener-on-the-other-side-of-the-fence’ thing. Every choice we make teaches us something. Hopefully, we are willing to learn along the way. Thank you for linking up at #BloggingGrandmothersLinkParty. I’m sharing your link on social media.
    Carol (“Mimi”) from Home with Mimi

    • Adaughter

      You are so right, I know I look back at some of the decisions I have made and go over in my mind how I could/should have handled them. But we are who we are because of those decisions.

  4. I do have some regrets, some things I would change. But one of the things we have to do is learn to forgive ourselves for mistakes made so we can go on with our lives! Mistakes are human and everyone makes them. I love your quote, I definitely want to live my life with gusto and to the fullest! Thank you for sharing your wisdom at the #BloggingGrandmothersLinkParty!

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